embracing change

I just need a place to vent right now. I have so much shit just built up. Between shit at work, confusion with I am having a really hard time adjusting to my body right now. I sometimes feel like i'm an emotional wreck. One week i'm loving things but another week i just feel like blah. Oh well. So is life.

Work really sucks. I completely loathing going in five days a week. I feel totally underpaid, underappreciated, and completely overworked. I applied for a new job but because i only met one of the qualifications i was disqualified. I am just constantly lookin for something new to come along. But this is frustrating because on one end i'm overqualified but on the other end of the spectrum i'm not qualified enough. I'm just not happy at all being there anymore. I am tired of having to scap for money just to enjoy myself. I have to make sure it is in my budget so i can go out. If i dont have the funds then i dont go.

Well i dont knwo what else to vent right now....

take two apples and call me in the morning

so i'm home sick today....i woke up feeling like CRAP with an extra capital C. i called the doctor and he called me in an antibiotic and a steriod......i have been through this crap once already (back in january) its a sinus infection that has moved its way into a respitory infection. IT SUCKS!!!! so here i am sittin on my ass just stuck doing a damn thing. i can't talk because i have basically been placed on a restriction from talking to save what little voice i have left. i miss greg. i want to curl up next to him right now and i want him to tell me that everything will be ok. i want him to run his fingers through my hair and relax me. im hungrybut i dont know what i want to eat right now. ham doesn't sound good. i might go in there and see what kind of lean cusuine pizzas we have in the freezer. shawn's home and he has TOTALLY become a preppy dresser. he's walking around in hollister shirts...............stuff that i would never be caught in becasue i can never find anything that fits me....i used to have a gut but now i have been tryin to lose it but my dilemma is i have BOOBS. i am almost a C cup. i'm sure i could probably put a small C on and it would fit. i have several shirts where its just like BAM boobs.....it can be annoying when you just have guys staring at your rack. i will purposly where sports bras just to push them down from time to time, but it doesn't help i still have BOOBS...well i guess i better go so i can take another dose of pills!

tiresome

I seldomly just open up and revel exactly how I feel right off the bat. I have a bad habit of bottling everything up and going off on the wrong people. Its a bad habit I know. One of these days I am goin to go off on the wrong people and its going to hurt me in the long run.

Reality tv is so funny these days. Rock of Love is currently on tv and it is sooo funny, BUT it draws me in. For some reason I return each week to see who will be going home. Its just humorous. I find myself laughing at how these women are throwing themselves at Brett Michaels. Oh the joys of love struck "strippers."

Fall is upon KY and its awesome. The past few mornings my walks have been rather chilly. Its nice to have a walk where I can breathe in the morning. Its still dark when I go walking but its a good way to start the day. Back to the season. I think fall is one of my favorite seasons. That and spring. I love fall. Its so beautiful. I love the sunsets especially. Once the leaves start to change and the sun hits the oranges, reds, and yellows in the leaves.....its absolutely breathtaking. That's the one thing i love about where i live. The changing of the leaves is mezmorizing.

Well i am done for now. I just wanted to release some thoughts......much love.