sinus gloop, sinus drip, sinus bleck.....
i've had it up to my sinus cavity with the popping of allegra, sniffing nasonex, and inhaling two different inhalents........it feels like i'm constantly popping, sniffing, inhaling some form of medicine now. i guess that is why i have such a fucking hard time keeping track of this shit. take this one with just water, do not eat for an hour after this one, brush your teeth with this one, and blow your nose before this one. holy hell so many drugs and one tiny molecule for a brain.
news flash......
big fashion no-no.....big girls...i mean BIG girls, do NOT need to wear skinny jeans. with cut off micro shirt. where's the "CAUTION WIDE LOAD" sign with the blubbering sound effects when you need one.
I admit i am a huge people watcher. I walk to my bus every aftertnoon from 2nd street to 4th street and there is a plethera of interesting creatures that walk in my presence. i see the true "working" girl in her micro mini and halter, although not too appealing when you are nothing but skin and bones from all of the drug usage. i see the homeboys with pants to their knees. no wonder they can't run. they can barely walk without having to hold up their pants. oh yes...let me not forget about the "i'm better than you yuppies, in their fantabulous business attire"
I'm ready to get my new wheels in so i can skate without slipping. maybe i wont be so discouraged when i leave practice. i just feel like each time i take a hit i slide. *not cool* and i think i'm going to try and skate more outside....find a park or something with a good sidewalk and skate. i love roller derby....although i have a lot of catching up to do. being off of skates for three weeks wasn't what i needed for my stamina and endurance. le sigh. i will get my time down to 17 seconds. i just have to break 18 seconds first. maybe if i can skate fast then the coach will talk to me and not make me feel like i'm good enough. i know i'm not fast. i will be one day. just give me time. i'm sorry. i will make you proud, just dont get frustrated with me. i'm trying. you will know when i'm not. if i'm on skates, i'm giving you my all. just dont get behind me and tell me that i can go faster when i'm already doing the best that i can at that moment. it only makes me feel like why i am i even doing this at all. i dont feel like i make you happy to be on this team. i feel like i'm just wasting your time when you get behind me and holler that you can do better. its not what i'm paying good money for. i give myself a hard enough time, and that just adds salt to the wound. i have only been skating since march.....i'm not perfect. i'm not a speed skater, i'm sorry if you were informed incorrectly. i will try till i bleed or cannot breathe anymore but i'm trying. *think snide comments here*
till next time....break a sweat.
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